Rachi and Tyler: Teens who have intervened in a peer’s drug use.
The following quotes are a sampling of excerpts from their conversation:
WHEN IS THERE A PROBLEM?
Teitelbaum: In 1962 only 2 percent of the population had done illicit drugs. Roughly 1 in 6 eighth graders today have smoked marijuana. If you are seeing a 13, 14 or 15-year-old trying drugs, it’s a problem. They are going through puberty; their brains are still developing. The age of initiation is going down. We’ve come to think of experimenting with marijuana as a right of passage - and it’s not.
Question: So it’s never a right of passage?
Teitelbaum: It might be seen as such but it’s a dangerous way to look at it.
HOW DO YOU KNOW? WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR?
Teitelbaum: Warning signs that a teen might be using drugs or alcohol include declining grades, new friends, evidence of drug paraphernalia, changes in sleep patterns, bottles of eye drops to mask bloodshot eyes, increased use of mouthwash to hide the smell of alcohol, etc.
Question: How do you know if it is typical teen-age behavior or a teen-ager using drugs?
Teitelbaum: Ask questions.
DEALING WITH THE ISSUE.
Question: In regard to parents’ reactions to the possibility that their child is starting to use drugs, how much is denial and how much is hopelessness?
Teitelbaum: It’s both. Ask the parents of their children’s friends, coaches, teachers, etc. what they see if they [the parents] aren’t sure. Go to the people who see their kids regularly.
Question: How do you confront a 13-year-old who thinks it’s ok because their friends are drinking or smoking pot? How do you make them understand?
Teitelbaum: Confront them honestly with what you see, clearly and not judgmentally. Listen. Show them [the teen] respect. Present them with the facts. In their world, everyone IS doing it because the kids they are hanging out with are doing it. Show them that not everyone is. Keep calm.
Question: Define the difference between early intervention and other forms.
Teitelbaum: "Primary Intervention" is before experimentation or use starts, prevention. "Secondary Intervention" or "Early Intervention" takes place when the first signs of use are seen. "Tertiary Intervention" is essentially admitting someone into a treatment program.
Question: Where does the correct medical intervention come in?
Teitelbaum: Once I know there is any use at all.
Question: Is it AA, etc.?
Teitelbaum: It depends. It depends on how long they’ve been using; do they think that they have a problem; what is their home environment, etc. The level of intervention depends on the level of illicit use. Intervention doesn’t necessarily mean sending their kids to treatment as we classically know it. It could be sitting down and just talking to your kids. It’s also not just the parents. Many people can have an influence on kids.
Question: What are you doing at your high school?
Schwab: We deal with them [kids who are using drugs or alcohol] in one of two ways. One is if they come to school clearly under the influence. Then we have to treat them according to policy - excluding them from school until they have seen someone and been assessed, etc. Then they can come back after some sort of treatment - everything from a class to in-patient treatment, depending on the assessment and the level of use.
Question: You were an athlete. You know the philosophy of going out drinking after games, etc. How much of a problem is binge drinking?
Schwab: It’s a huge problem at the high school level. We have the same policy [for drinking that is in place for drug use].
Question: Are you surprised at who the kids are doing this?
Schwab: Absolutely. Many times they are the "good kids". They have the reputations that let them engage in this behavior because you don’t think that they’d be the ones - the athletes, the honor society kids, etc.
Teitelbaum: The level of engaging in this type of behavior is directly proportional to the risk factor - do they think it’s a risk? Most don’t.
Question: What are parents’ reactions when you bring them in to discuss their child’s situation?
Schwab: The reaction is 50/50. Some are in denial. Others know that something is going on but often are unsure how to deal with it.
Question: How do you deal with the parents who are in denial?
Schwab: We sit them down and give them the facts and places they can go to get help. We currently have parents of two students who refuse to acknowledge that there is a problem with their children so they’ve opted to keep their kids out of school long term rather than deal with the problem.
Question: Why would they do that?
Schwab: Many have problems themselves. Others just want to protect their child. It’s not a reflection on the parent or the child; it’s just a reflection of the situation.
Question: How do you know when it’s working?
Schwab: Sometimes you don’t.
Teitelbaum: Sometimes you don’t see the results right away. Sometimes kids "bounce back" after an intervention or treatment but it gets them down the road. For example, I have one patient who went through treatment and while he is not completely drug and alcohol free he is making progress. For example, his behavior - with his parents, teachers, etc. - is much better. He’s more engaged.
THE TEEN PERSPECTIVE
Question: Do you think that Greg’s school’s program is good?
Tyler: Yes. We also have mentoring programs [peer-to-peer] at my school. Kids do listen to other kids. I know I listened. I wanted to be like my older mentor. When a kid knows that another kid or friend is there for them, they are willing to listen. It hits them that there are other kids out there that aren’t doing drugs and drinking. I think it works better coming from a peer. They see a teacher or coach as just that. Coming from a peer, they see them as someone like them. I’m not afraid and I’m willing to be there for them. That’s why they come to me. They see that they don’t need that kind of life [drugs/alcohol].
Rachi: It’s important for people my age to realize that there are a lot of kids out there that don’t use drugs. I have a friend whose parents were going through a bad divorce. She began using drugs during that time. It affected her life and our friendship. I found out through other friends that she was ditching school, she’d quit cheerleading. Slowly I began to draw her more into my group of friends - one day at a time - and getting her away from the drug crowd. She slowly began to realize that she was having fun without doing drugs so she began using drugs less and less and finally quit.
Question: Do you think that kids listen to other kids more than adults?
Rachi: When you are challenged by those who you think are supposed to be like you, it has more impact. If more people saw more positive role models as opposed to the kids who are doing something wrong, it would have a positive impact.
Question: Have you always been successful in your efforts to reach out to others who are using?
Rachi: It’s the little things that make a difference. I’ve been lucky enough that when I take the time to really get involved with someone, they listen.
Tyler: You win some and you lose some but you never give up. I know they are listening to me but sometimes they aren’t taking it all in. I’m not going to stop. You’ve got to keep working. They aren’t necessarily going to change overnight.
Question: Where do the two of you get the courage to do this?
Rachi: We’ve had such a strong support system. We’ve had success NOT doing drugs.
Question: Do you think this stuff works?
Rachi: I think so and I hope so. Peer-to-peer speaks volumes.
Question: What do the adults think of what they are saying?
Schwab: It’s not just a win-loss situation. It’s an ongoing road. We had a girl at our school who was caught. We brought the dad in and he was in denial about it, but he agreed to the counseling half-heartedly, as did the daughter. She came back to school after counseling and committed a second infraction. We brought the dad back in and he said, "You’re right, I’m sorry."
Have the conversation often. Don’t just assume your kids know how you feel about it. Talk to your kids every day. Also, peer-to-peer intervention is one of the most powerful tools we have.
Teitelbaum: No one wants to go to their friends to confront them about this. It takes courage. There’s no such thing as an unsuccessful intervention. You do it because it’s right. You never know when it’s going to blossom. You don’t necessarily see the fruits of your efforts right away but down the road you might.
Question: How about the kids that don’t have family support?
Rachi: Family isn’t the only place to get that one person to look up to. It’s great if you do, but all it takes is that one powerful influence - an older student, etc.
Schwab: Peer-to-peer relationships are critical to these programs. Connections to school, etc. are also essential. Kids who are drifting and don’t have that connection often find themselves drifting in the wrong directions, with the kids who are doing this stuff.
Teitelbaum: The younger you start, the greater the likelihood that you are going to wind up with some sort of addiction.
Question: Do you agree [panelists] that it would never be a right of passage?
Schwab: It’s never a right of passage to do something illegal or dangerous. You need to spell it out to parents. We can’t look at is as a right of passage because that just accepts the behavior. There are just as many kids that are doing the right things.
Teitelbaum: If you accept it as a right of passage, you are just signing off on the behavior - and you can’t pick the consequences.
Rachi: It’s important to categorize what is a right of passage. Going out is a right of passage for me, not the drinking. I go to parties and have fun without drinking. Five out of the 30 people on my freshman floor had their stomachs pumped for alcohol. I have friends who drink and those that don’t - not drinking does not diminish my fun.
Question: When should you talk to your kids?
Teitelbaum: Middle school is the best time. Don’t use scare tactics.
Question: Are you guys [teen panelists] required to tell someone older if someone comes to you with a serious problem?
Tyler: If it’s really serious, you have to tell someone.
Question: In any community of young people, there are a certain percentage of kids who are going to blow past the safety nets (a la the movie "13"). What do you do with them? They aren’t going to go to peer counseling. Likely their home life isn’t good and discipline doesn’t work?
Schwab: We have those kids and we continue to try. You continue to work with parents and keep getting them outside services.
Teitelbaum: You always make an attempt to find someone who is going to be able to reach the kid.
